(whimsical whistling music) - You know how the dog whistles, you can't hear them, but they can?

That's like what it sounds like to me.

- You suck in the air.

You have to suck it in just right.

- Even when it's noisy, you can hear it.

- It's a high-pitch sound.

It's really hard to learn.

- It takes me like about 45 minutes just to get it right and get going.

I don't know what it is, because I get dizzy or something.

(laughs) I haven't got that air in me anymore.

- It's not like your regular whistle where you're blowing out, but it's more of like a sucking in.

- It almost sounds like a dog whistle but I can't do it that well anymore.

- Kinda.

(high pitched whistle) - There you go!

- You thought that was a chorus!

- Look over here!

(group whistling) - Is there a lot of people that whistle out there where you're at?

- [StormMiguel] Nah, nobody, it's an Albuquerque thing.

(soft guitar music) Whenever I come home to Albuquerque, I'm flooded with memories of my early adulthood and my youth.

This landlocked high desert landscape holds a lot of history and many untold stories.

That was my auntie Tommie's house.

I spent a lot of time there in my youth, playing in the back lot with my cousins, eating sweet rice and biscochitos, being a kid.

There's my high school.

I didn't spend nearly as much time there as I should have.

Instead I hung out here.

And here.

I also hung out at this bar's parking lot because I was too young to go inside.

I somehow got into this lesbian bar when I was 16.

Clearly no longer lesbian bar.

I knew a lot of people like myself back then.

And now I'm coming home to find out how we found each other and how a whistle that helped us identify each other came to be.

- [Charlene] We've known each other since we were probably about eight years old.

And we all lived on the same street.

Well my grandmother lived on the same street so, but it felt like it was all on the same street.

And Susan and I knew each other first and then Tina moved to the neighborhood and we somehow glommed onto Tina 'cause she seemed like us.

- Charlene came out first - Yup.

- Then it was me, and then we were wondering about you.

(laughs) - There was no wondering, I was just taking my time.

It was very strange.

You know, you're in high school administration, whoever assigns the lockers, and we all got placed literally right in the middle of the entire basketball team.

It was very strange.

We're like, it's their fault!

- I remember at some point having some conversations about, oh my gosh, did you know that such and such was, was gay?

- And we were like?

- (gasps) What?

What does that mean, exactly?

(laughs) - And then I guess we figured it out because suddenly we were all kissing girls.

(laughs) - Yeah, suddenly.

I went to Del Norte High School in Albuquerque and I graduated in 1987.

I had a friend who came out to me.

And I mean I was starting to understand like that there were all these girls that we were friends with that were in athletics or you know, or in sports and stuff that were lesbians.

And so a really close friend of mine came out to me.

Then I was like, what the hell is this?

Like, honestly, I don't even think I really knew what it even was or what was even going on.

All I knew was that I felt this kindred spirit with those, with those girls honestly.

And just kind of felt like, oh, this is such a relief!

- I went to West Mesa High School and I graduated in 1989.

I would kiss boys but was never really interested.

And then I found like one friend that we would talk every night on the phone for three hours, but we really didn't know what was going on, you know, so.

Nothing ever transpired out of that, but then actually in high school was when I came out.

- [Stephanie] Well I initially started at Valley High School and then I graduated from Del Norte High School in 1987.

- [Molly] And I went to Valley High School and I graduated in '86.

- While I went to Valley, a lot of my friends from mid-school didn't go to Valley.

So of course, you know my big sister just had my back and I hung out with her friends.

- In our high school, the jocks had this wall, the stoners had that wall.

Well, we had our own wall.

Some people called it the dyke wall.

We just called it our wall.

So at any given period in between classes or for lunch, you know, there'd be 20 lesbians just hanging out right there.

- I went to Rio Grande High School and I graduated in 1980.

My cousin Gloria was 15 and we were really close.

And I can remember the day that she told me that she was gay.

We were walking home from school and she told me that, she said, "I have something to tell you."

I said, "Okay."

And she said, "um, I'm gay."

And I said, "Okay, cool."

And she said, "No, Gloria, I'm gay."

And I said, "Well, so am I sometimes."

I was so naive, I didn't know what she was talking about.

And she said, "No, Gloria.

I like girls."

I'm like, "Okay, I do too."

And she said, "I'm a lesbian."

And I, it just was like a shock.

And I just looked at her and then I ran home.

- I went to West Mesa High School here in Albuquerque, Westside, class of 1979.

I knew that I was gay.

I just, you know, the story of the high school coach, you know what I mean, for whatever that is, had a crush on her.

And from there I gotta say I must've been 13, 14, 15 when I felt like stuff was happening.

At 15 I met a friend in junior high, and by high school we became friends and I knew, I sorta knew she was gay.

Started hanging out with her and her friends.

And then she told me this person is, this person is not just my friend, this is my girlfriend.

And I was like, yes!

(soft acoustic guitar) ♪ - [StormMiguel] I remember seeing a bumpersticker on the back of my basketball coach's car.

It said, "We are everywhere."

Every time I saw it I tried to figure it out.

What does it mean?

Is it some cosmic message?

We're all one?

At the same time, my best friend and I were constantly wondering if our coach might be gay.

We weren't out yet, but we were obsessed with her.

Then one day I was driving behind my coach following her to a basketball game or something and it dawned on me, she was gay!

And her bumper sticker was proof, like hidden in plain sight.

We are everywhere!

♪ - We were from all over the city, all over.

There were 10 high schools at the time.

And yet we all knew each other and it was because we communicated and because you know, we would go, congregate, whether it was at parties or at games or wherever we met.

- How many dykes were in the entire city?

- A lot.

- Wow, there was a lot, I mean if there was 12 to 15 at Del Norte, and say, I think West Mesa usually beat us.

There were say, 20 there or 18 or something.

- And there were some schools in rural areas like Farmington and things like that that we would figure out usually much later after we'd met the team or whatever.

- Yeah.

- Valley had a lot too, I remember.

- I would say like close to a hundred.

- Easy.

- That's just my guess.

- [StormMiguel] When I talk to people about that time, and for me it's the 80s, but for a lot of people that goes back to the 70s, when I talk to folks in other places, who are from other towns or who live in other places and grew up in other places who were out at that time, who were youth at that time, when I talk to them, I always hear, more than anything hear "I didn't know anybody like me."

Albuquerque was packed full of queers back then.

And then we were at all the high schools, like there were mostly, I would say the big groups were in the high schools, like from Del Norte west, but we even knew of a person at El Dorado, I knew a couple people at La Cueva, couple people at Sandia, couple people at Manzano, few people at Highland.

But then you get to like West Mesa and Valley, Rio Grande, there were like more than you could count that were going there or that had graduated from there.

There were so many of us.

(faint sound of wind) - So I think we knew to pursue people when, first of all they recognized us to a certain extent.

I mean there was that point of like you make eye contact, you kind of go, hmm, who's that, oh, okay.

You know, and you kind of start to get the vibe that this person is looking at us for a reason or paying attention to us for a reason.

Something like that.

And then just start talking to them, you know, like who are you, what's your name?

What are you doing in the world?

Honestly, sports had a lot to do with that.

I mean, there was a lot of, you know, tomboys or whatever, or athletes that were a little more butch.

I mean, that's the other part of it, like butchier girls, that was a really big tip off.

- It was a little harder for people to realize I was also a lesbian because I wore miniskirts and I used to, you know, put on tons of makeup.

Gosh, used to cake on makeup, and wear lots of lipstick.

So it was hard to find that little something to indicate that I was also, you know, a lesbian too.

- At the time we used the whistle and that was a way that we identified each other, found each other when we were at events, games, even in the cafeteria or on campus, we'd whistle and we'd find each other.

- Using the whistle was a little indication to whoever I was whistling to that I know that whistle and I think you're attractive.

And because I know that whistle, it means, you know, I'm a lesbian too.

(acoustic guitar) ♪ - You know, as we started to like kind of, we came out and now we're in the group.

It was just the stuff that was just passed down to us.

This is where that party is, this person's gay, these are the high schools, you know, whatever.

And, if you really want to know that someone is gay, just whistle.

And if they respond then they probably are, or they're gonna look because this is our whistle.

This is how we tell who we are.

And that's what it was, period.

And we used it all the time.

♪ - We would be in the gym and I'd see people practicing this whistle.

What are they doing?

(laughs) But you knew, I mean you just, you started hearing it, whether you were out in the community at the State Fair, at the mall, people would just start whistling and you'd sort of gravitate towards the whistle, and then if you heard the whistle, you got closer, and if you knew the person you stayed and chatted, if not, just a little nod or a little acknowledgement of some sort, and kept walking.

- And I learned it from her, so I don't know if I could still do it.

- Nah, I can't.

- (whistles).

- That's way better than I could.

I cannot do it.

- [Director] Can you just try to do the whistle?

- No!

No, okay.

Okay.

(sucking air) See nothing, you do it.

(high-pitched whistle) (high-pitched whistle) (high-pitched whistle) (high-pitched whistle) - That's the whistle.

My dogs still respond to it actually.

(laughs) I've trained them to respond to it.

So we used it as a way of finding each other in crowds, but also a way of spotting each other a way of giving each other a nod, a way of like, hey, I see you.

- I have no idea where the whistle came from.

- Neither do I, I just know that Molly or someone, we, a group of people, were always doing it.

I don't even remember the first time we learned it or the first time I learned it.

I don't remember it all.

- I mean I do think that, my feeling is that it did not start at Del Norte, I think it started somewhere else.

- Absolutely.

- And we, and yeah, it came up to us somehow.

- And so many different groups of lesbians would hang out together from other schools that you just, I seriously don't know that it would be that easy to tease out.

- Even when I was young, when I was like 15 and I came out and I started learning about the whistle, I was always just like, who started this?

This is so cool!

And nobody knew.

- I don't recall exactly how I learned it.

But I do remember we used to travel back and forth to Juarez a lot when we were younger, all of us.

And I know the Mexican people, the Mexican men down there, they used it and it always kind of freaked me out when I'd hear them like in the Mercado and they would do it and we would kind of look and turn.

- I'm pretty sure it originated in the Latina dyke community though.

- I have no idea where the whistle came from.

It's an Albuquerque myth.

(bugs chirping) - I remember this group of these little, a bunch of little butch girls, a lot younger than me and they were whistling away and boy, they just were swearing up and down that that was their deal, man.

That they started it, you know, they were the ones and everything.

Boy I got up right away and... No, no, no.

That's not where it came from.

- I thought that I brought the whistle back to our little group in high school.

And as I was doing research, what I found was that my memories of my teenage years were a little bit skewed because I remember a time when I went to Juarez with my cousin Pete, who is also a gay man.

We noticed that the mercado people were using the whistle to communicate to each other.

And so we were sitting at a little table and whistling.

So I must have already known it when I went there.

We were whistling and kind of teasing them and getting them frustrated 'cause they didn't know where the whistle was coming from.

And so we were laughing, anyway, so that's why I thought I brought it back to our group.

But then my cousin Gloria told me that, "It was Bern and Luyz, they taught it to me and I was only 15."

So this would've been 1975.

- One of my best friends, Joseph Lopez, Jody, he brought it from El Paso, that whistle.

He had a sugar daddy that lived in El Paso.

He'd been there several times and "There's this park," he said "and everybody hangs out and all the guys, all the guys," he said, cause he was boy crazy like you wouldn't believe.

"There's this whistle and if you see something you like, you walk around, you cruise."

He goes, "Everybody cruises everybody, man.

Everybody checks out everybody.

Everybody looking."

And he said "but you see something you like, man, give that little whistle and (whistle) if they respond and you see it or whatever, it's on."

(70s funk music) ♪ And then from there, we just took it to the bars.

- Yeah (laughs) - And it just, it went from there, yeah.

But Jody's the one that brought it.

He brought it to me first.

And then I was going out with Ro, so I took it to Ro.

- You took it to me.

(whistling) - [Gloria] And then Ro brought it to us younger ones.

(whistling) It was a fun time.

- Man we had... gosh, and always... - We all took care of each other, that was what was so neat about it.

- [StormMiguel] I'm excited about this, what you got here.

- [Gloria] Okay, so in high school I kept everything and so I have a scrapbook and this fell out of this scrapbook.

So in high school my heartthrob- - Yes!

- Was Kristy McNichol.

(laughs) I loved her.

She was just, she was my crush.

- [StormMiguel] What years were you in high school?

- [Gloria] I was in high school from '76 to '80.

- [StormMiguel] So while you were in high school having a crush on Kristy McNichol, I was in elementary school having a crush on Kristy McNichol.

- [Gloria] Oh really!

(laughs) That's funny.

- [StormMiguel] She was on that show, "Family," remember that show?

- Yeah, mm-hmm.

This is kind of interesting, I came across this last night.

And this is the poem that my friend Anna wrote when, after I told her I was gay.

And this was of course after she got over the initial shock of it.

And so she wrote this.

Do you want me to read it?

- Please - Okay.

Gay Glor (whimsical music) There's a girl, her name is Glor.

I want to, to understand more.

She kept it hidden and hidden good when she told me, I just stood.

I do understand quite a bit but I need ask more or I'll have a fit!

It was hard for her to say a lot of things for she is gay.

I don't really care, this is a free land for she's my friend so I'll lend a hand I like her for what she is, not what she does so if I care for her, that's just 'cause.

By the locker, I can't snap for everyone is in a big rap.

Tears are now flowing a bit, but not in a wrong way for sure they're coming down but not because you're gay.

It is really weird in every which ways for all of them call it "wrecked for days."

(upbeat music) ♪ ♪ - Being wrecked to me growing up was in high school, your first kiss.

Who was the first girl you kissed?

Who was the first girl you were with?

So it was formed as a question.

Well who wrecked you?

- That's the word that we used to use when we talk about when we kissed our first girl.

So that meant that we were wrecked.

So, when were you wrecked?

- It was part of our secret code.

It was part of the language that we used in order to... gosh, I guess it was to protect ourselves.

- God, I haven't used that word in years, but I think back then, I mean the biggest question was who wrecked you?

Or what were the circumstances?

How were you wrecked or how did you feel about that.

- Who wrecked you again?

- uh, it was Rhonda (bleep).

That was my first, who was yours?

- Molly!

- Oh, that's right.

- Yes, same as me.

- (bleeped expletive) (laughs) - Molly wrecked a lot of girls.

- Yes.

Yes, that would be a very valid point, totally own it.

- Yes.

- One of her sentences would always be, "Oh, you Molly's sister?"

and Steph would say, "Do you like her?"

And if they said yes, then she said, "Yeah, I'm her sister!"

It appears I wrecked a number of girls in high school, so therefore Steph would ask the cautionary question of whether or not... - So I wasn't lying.

- But you know, God bless a wrecker, I guess.

- Yes.

(laughs) (laughing) - Codes back then were actually kind of important because we're still in the closet.

I mean, we still had to be careful on who found out about us.

- I remember when you told somebody you like 'em or love 'em, you'd put 1-4-3 so nobody'd know.

- Oh yeah, that's true, right, that was a code.

- [Gloria] There was another one that we used: "Taking a walk on the wild side" meant that that person came out.

and so it would be like, "Did you hear Marlene took a walk on the wild side?"

- Because we kind of existed in this, like, be really careful.

Be really careful.

This could be a dangerous world for you.

And we took a lot of precautions.

It was very hard for me to unlearn that because it was so ingrained in me then, you know, and we were scared.

Even though we had this whole thing, we knew that there was a line.

And don't go past that line.

I had a girlfriend who worked at like a fast food restaurant and we had gone there for lunch and it was all exciting and she came out to like say goodbye and I hugged her and gave her a kiss on the cheek, and she got fired.

She got fired because her manager saw us do that like right when I was leaving and oh man, I felt so bad.

I felt bad because I was like, oh, why did I do that?

But it was so like, you know, it was just automatic and oh, I still feel, I still feel bad about it.

(laughs) Right?

It's so funny how that stuff sticks with you.

Obviously, I know that wasn't, you know, my fault, but it still bothers me.

(soft guitar music) ♪ - [Stephanie] I was dating the football player and there was a lot of pressure.

I was not ready to go there in that type of relationship with him.

I broke up with him.

Because of who I hung out with, the next day I'm at school, my locker's keyed: dyke.

So I walked down the hallways: Dyke!

Dyke!

Dyke!

I didn't even know what that word was.

I mean, it was written, keyed on my locker and I'm like, that doesn't sound like a good word.

I think I don't want to be that, but I'm not sure what the heck that was.

And so, just weeks, there's Senior Circle and all the jocks were there.

Total harassment, he would hit me and nobody did anything about it.

And so one day I was done and so I just punched him and I was just, I was done.

And so, big old case at school, I was making it unsafe, uncomfortable for him to be at school.

I wasn't allowed to change out for PE with the other girls.

If I did, I had to go into a stall.

I was allowed five minutes before PE because I was making them uncomfortable.

At that point I was like, I hadn't even kissed a girl.

I'm not, I don't even know what's happening.

And so I got expelled.

Eventually I got expelled.

(soft acoustic guitar) ♪ (indistinct hallway chatter) - [BERN] I got in a lot of fist fights there too, I mean really good fist fights.

I cried 'cause I had to go to finally my mom, (laughs) I'd wake up in the morning, she'd tell me "Why are you crying?"

"because I have to go to school."

"Just don't go then, man."

You know, so I, really?

I thought it was that easy?

So all right, so I quit going.

- I often wonder what it would've been like for me in school, like even academically if there would've been more acceptance.

And I don't phrase that as if I wouldn't have been gay because that's not an option, you know, for me not to be queer is not an option.

We asked that a lot, what would it have been like if I would've been, as a trans guy, if I would have been born a guy?

What would've been in like if I would've been born straight, would my life be different?

I like to think of as what would it have been like if I would have been born into a world where I can be exactly who I am and be celebrated for that?

I tell myself, or I told myself for years that I'm not a smart person because I didn't do well in high school.

But the truth is, I did pretty good in school up until high school.

In middle school I was doing all right.

When I came into high school and then I came out and then there was all this pressure about who I am.

I didn't do so good, I started failing classes.

I ended up having to take a full day in school and then two classes at night just to graduate because I was doing so poorly in school.

- I remember being, there was some guys our junior year that were being really confrontational.

That was the toughest year I think, was our junior year and I remember these guys like surrounding us.

Do remember that?

- Was that by her locker?

- Yeah, was it you?

- Yeah and we came, yeah.

- [Charlene] And they surrounded us and we got pretty scared I think.

- [Tina] They were yelling at us and stuff.

(somber music) ♪ - [Charlene] But we never told anyone, like we never told a counselor.

- Well, like who were we going to tell?

- I know, well yeah, exactly.

I mean, we obviously didn't feel safe enough doing that.

I know I did not tell my parents.

- [Tina] No, I didn't tell my parents either.

- I can't remember a whole lot of support other than ourselves.

- Other than ourselves, yeah.

- Maybe Havens to a certain extent.

- Yeah, but she had to be careful.

- But she was really, really careful and it wasn't like she came looking for us, you know, and was like hey, how's it going you guys!

- No, she had to be very, very careful.

- And in terms of teachers and knowing about us, only one that knew about us was Havens, was Ms. Levitt.

That's it.

So Miss Levitt was a lesbian teacher at Del Norte who taught math when I was there.

And she was never actually my teacher, which is kind of interesting because I became very close to her, but she was never, I never actually had a class with her.

But Tina did, and Tina got very close to Ms. Levitt.

- I think for me, probably the biggest positive influence was Havens.

Absolutely, absolutely.

She, for one thing, when my parents, when it came out or came up, I was struggling and I was stressed out and Havens really was very supportive in that arena.

- So I started teaching in 1982 and we didn't have any protections as teachers and I didn't really know how far I could go.

Or what would get me in trouble in terms of being out.

And so pretty much the first few years I was not certainly in any way that I intended to be out.

So the thing that really changed me was an experience I had with one student.

And, she was, the second year that I taught, she was in my ninth grade Algebra class.

And she was very attentive to me in the way that when you're a teacher, there's usually a few students that kind of latch onto you and bring your cards.

And the next year when she was a sophomore, she wouldn't even make eye contact with me.

And so I was like, well, something's going on there.

So I didn't, you know, push that.

By the time that she was a junior, then she started coming around to my classroom and kind of wanting to talk to me.

And she and another student would, started hanging out in my room to a certain extent.

And there was this moment right before Christmas, it would've been in December, and I had some New Year's Eve women's dance fliers with me.

They were in my room and we were talking and I just said, "Do you guys want to come to this dance?"

Kind of spontaneously, I hadn't given it much thought.

And so that was what opened up the conversation where we finally were all out to each other, the three of us.

The next year, she was a senior and she was on the soccer team.

One of the things that you do as a teacher, you kind of find some student activities and show up and it means an incredible amount to students just to see you there.

So I started going to her soccer games and at the end of the soccer season she invited me to the soccer banquet, I was very flattered and it was kind of that moment of knowing that you've made a difference in a student's life and they want to reach out to you.

And then she said, "I want you to meet my mother."

And I just, internally, I don't know if it showed, but internally I just froze.

And I remember thinking maybe I won't go.

Her parents had not been supportive of her and she and I had talked over the months about her coming out to her parents and them having trouble with it, and I tried to be supportive.

And I just thought, oh my god, this woman is gonna attack me for, you know, leading her daughter astray.

So I had a lot of fear around it.

But in the end I decided, I told Tina I would come and so I'm gonna be there.

And I put on my best velveteen blazer and very sensible shoes and I went.

And here comes Tina with her mom, she introduces us and immediately disappears.

And so here I am standing with this woman and she looks up at me and seriously, internally I'm just thinking, oh no.

And she said, "Thank you."

"Thank you for helping my child feel okay about herself."

It was a pivotal moment for me where I just got this huge message that the people who don't want me to support LGBT kids don't matter.

And the people who do, including the parents that love their kids and want them to be affirmed and you know, be happy and live, you know, happy lives, those are the people that I care about.

And that really changed what you know, how out I was at school and how willing I was to kind of put myself out there and you know, if there were people who objected to know that I was on the right side of it and not have my own internalized homophobia kind of pull me back from what I knew was the right thing.

(calm music) ♪ - [StormMiguel] In high school, the Rio Grande Nature Trail was one of the most peaceful places I knew.

I used to ditch classes and just go hang out there by myself.

Things were pretty hard at school and at home.

The other students at school started finding out about us and that scared me.

So I came out to my parents.

My mom was devastated and I felt really awful about that.

But what could I do?

♪ - As soon as my mom kinda started getting suspicious, she started going through my things and finding, you know, maybe notes.

And sure enough, you know, when she did find out about me, she started sending me to therapy.

The cheapest one we could afford was at UNM.

UNM told me I was normal and I was okay.

It was my mom that had to deal with that.

- My mom insisted that I go to counseling.

Make a long story short, I think it's just pretty fortunate that we found, she found a counselor that was willing to sort of take my side and say, you know, mom, you're the one with the problem, she's not.

- My mom was determined to change me and I'm convinced that had she known of conversion therapy and had access to like a therapist, that would've been the path for me.

I somehow lucked out that she talked to my doctor to ask if my doctor knew of a psychologist and my doctor was like, yeah, but I can also tell you that it's a lot safer than your child sleeping with every boy on the block.

And the psychologist was actually pretty cool too.

My poor mother, like she really wanted me to change.

That was her explicit goal was she wanted me to change.

(wind chimes clanging) - When I had my first heartbreak when one of my girlfriends went out on me, I couldn't sleep all night.

I was sitting on the floor in the porch in the front yard and I was crying, And my mom came out and I can still remember it to this day, she was in her nightgown and she came out and she sat next to me, put her arm around me and she said, "What's the matter mija?"

And I said, "My girlfriend went out on me."

And she just held me and she said, "Don't worry, there's other girls out there."

Because my parents knew, I've never had to hide it, I've always been out.

And that's because it's always been kind of easy in my family.

- And I said, "Mom, I'm gay."

I remember she hit the wall like a thud, hit it like my words had just knocked her backwards.

It was just the longest drive to school I've ever had in my life with my mom, you know, yelling about, I didn't pay for you to go to Catholic school all your life for you to end up like this.

I didn't raise you like this, this isn't what I taught you.

I just stayed quiet, I mean, there was no talking to her then.

And she took me to a psychiatrist's office, and she took me to quite a few after that too.

But they all told her, you're the one that needs the help, your daughter is fine.

- The therapy didn't work, the church didn't work, I was still the same.

So she kind of held out I think, and just wouldn't let me out.

I was grounded, pretty much in house arrest until December came along and she told me that it was time for me to pack up and leave, I was officially 18 now.

And said never to talk to my siblings ever again or to any of my family members.

And when she tore that apart from me with my siblings, I wanted to share that with somebody.

And I didn't think I was going to have that.

As a lesbian, I didn't know that existed.

So I am very grateful, I did find the love of my life.

We've been together 20 years and we both share the same feelings about children.

We both have always wanted children and we're able to have children, but we decided to adopt.

And we've had them since they were babies and they've grown into very beautiful women.

(Mexican ranchera music, waltz) ♪ - So I have gay uncles and I would see them in the bar and stuff like that.

So I came out to them and they knew, and so that was kind of a nice, a place where I could find a place like that in my family.

♪ - [Madie] That's my sister who is also gay.

- [StormMiguel] I remember Corine, Corine, right?

- [Madie] Absolutely.

Corine came out about three years after I did.

Mom had three kids that liked women, my brother, me, my sister.

It's been great!

It's been good.

No problem.

She's the femme, I'm the butch.

So we kinda, you know, stay away from each other's business.

Gloria, the Vigils, that whole five, I think it's five, sisters.

- Out of 10 of my siblings, three of us are gay.

♪ - But there's, there's groups of families that more than one, two, even three.

Gotta wonder why that happens.

- I always thought it was something in the holy water.

- Something.

♪ - Of course, I was also Catholic, raised Catholic, And so I had all this conflict in me.

I knew I had all these feelings, but I had so much conflict.

And so I actually went to confession and I talked to the priest and the priest told me pretty much not to worry about it, that this is a phase.

Well, you know, here it is 40 years later and I'm still living out this phase.

(laughs) - Like at the time I was girl-identified.

I went into the confessional, it was the one time I didn't go face to face.

And you know, I said, "forgive me father for I have sinned, I'm a homosexual," 'cause that was like the only word I knew how to say with like when talking to an adult.

I didn't want to say "I'm a dyke."

And the priest said, "Well my son, a lot of boys your age have these feelings..." and I didn't hear a damn thing he said after that.

I don't know what it was about him saying that, like mis-gendering me 'cause I got mis-gendered my whole life, but I wasn't out as trans yet, so I think that kind of freaked me out.

And there was something about getting mis-gendered while I'm trying to come out to the priest that made me feel really just like, I'm never gonna be seen in this church.

And so I never went to confession again, I quit the youth group soon after, and just was done with that.

- When I was looking for a parish to join, I said, I'm gonna go to St. Charles because that's where my middle school was, that's the school I enjoyed the most.

So I want to belong to that church.

I went in and I said, "I went to your school up until eighth grade and I'd really like to join your parish."

And I said, "I want you to know my story before I join because I want to feel that I'm accepted here."

And I told her, I said, you know, "I'm in a relationship, I'm in a relationship with woman and I'm gay."

Her words verbatim, "You are not welcome in this church."

Verbatim.

Quoted.

Yeah.

And I didn't know, what do you say to that?

I mean, what do you say to somebody who says "You're not welcome in this church?"

(acoustic guitar) ♪ ♪ - I was 16, maybe 17, I was under age, and it was a place called Crickets.

And I was snuck in there, there were two turntables in the corner and somehow I gravitated toward that and next thing you know I was DJing, a hired person, and I was DJing.

(disco music) ♪ And that was great.

It was so exciting, the music, disco music was popping, it was Coming Out, Donna Summer.

There was so much wonderful music.

It was happy music, you know, it was like the gay thing.

- I started by just sort of sneaking out and going to, there were some after hour clubs that under 18 could go and I'll never forget the first time I went to one and 30 or 40 different people that I saw from other high schools were there and they were worried that I was going to tell everybody that they were out.

Why would I, where am I gonna say I saw you?

At the local lesbian bar?

No.

- And the best thing about that bar though was, so it was cool that we were there because we were too young.

- Right.

- But then what was the best thing, was at two o'clock everyone would start coming over and they were all the dykes that were either old enough to get into the bars - Or had good ids.

- Or had really good ids.

Not all the bars were very easy to sneak into so you know, it just depended on, on where it was, but many of us had fake ids, some of us didn't.

- Then Effie opened up Crickets in the Southwest Valley, and I think that was huge.

There was a place for all of us to go and congregate and back then bars weren't so strict about who they let in.

We all went in with fake ids, they knew they were fake ids.

- They had to have known that obviously that we were sneaking in, but they took our money, so we were okay, apparently.

- I know when I came out it was a little harder to get into the bars.

We weren't able to sneak in as easily or maybe I was just too scared to, that might be it, I was too scared.

(laughs) The first time I ever got into one of the gay bars was, it was Crickets and I was 16 years old and this dyke, this white, short dyke from Milwaukee named JMax, got me into Crickets because she told the manager of Crickets that I was her daughter.

In my mind, I'm like, I can't believe he believed her, 'cause he's like, yeah, sure.

But looking back, I know he was just like, I get you, I get you, that's your gay daughter.

- And yes, I mean there were raids, especially in the late 70s and the 80s.

The police would come in, you know, walk around, check out things.

They made their presence known.

So they hid me in the bathroom when I was too young.

- I mean I remember going out to Crickets, to the gay clubs and friends telling me, okay, if anybody comes at you, if there's cops out there, this is where you go, this is where we meet to make sure we get a head count.

And being young, I thought well okay, they're probably just raiding all the under age 'cause I'm under age, I have a fake id getting into the clubs.

No, I think I realized it, you know in my 30s probably, it took me that long to make the connection of wait a minute, they really were still targeting those gay and lesbian clubs and making it really difficult.

I remember three or four times where there were just swarms of cops, more than, it was a Saturday night and why are there 10 cop cars in the Crickets parking lot?

(police radio chattering) (new wave beat) ♪ - God, back then too, there were so many good bars around.

Man, you could walk out of one bar pretty much just walk up the road to another bar.

- [Charlene] I think when I was a teenager there was like four, five easily.

- If you're from here, you knew about Crickets, that's old school, old school.

- We went to Foxes Booze N' Cruise once in a while.

- [Gloria] Guys and girls had Albuquerque Social Club, which was called Heights at the time.

- [Charlene] RS Express, The Social Club was around then too.

- Oh, the Mining Company.

- There was an after-hours bar called Pacers over off of Central.

- Adam's Den, oh my gosh, I forgot about Adam's Den.

That one goes back, that's on Central.

Partied like a monster there.

There was Champagne Taste, Deja Vu... - And we used to call it the "Wrinkle Room," I can't even remember what it was called.

That was kind of like where the older lesbians and dykes hung out at.

It was over by, off of Menaul, behind there's a Denny's there now.

- Remember how scared we were of Corky's though?

(laughs) - Yeah, Corky's, that's what it was.

We used to call it the "Wrinkle Room" because it was much older women.

- It was the older lesbians is what it was.

- We did make up stories about them wanting to be with us, come on y'all, you know we did, and you know that it wasn't entirely true.

But we thought it was true.

Like, did you see her giving me googly eyes?

"She's old!

", (laughs) she was younger than me.

(friends laughing) - That's sad.

- Younger than me now, that is for damn sure!

- Like now there's, now there's nothing now here.

- Yeah, most of them are gone.

- Everything's all mixed up now, people are more, I think, open, it's not so secret.

You know, there's still gay bars, but everyone comes in and.

It's the younger generation, they don't care.

I mean, it's not a big thing.

You know what I mean?

It's almost cool, I guess, you know.

- It's different though now because everybody's out.

I mean they don't, there's no inhibitions.

You know, when we grew up, we had a lot of inhibitions.

Working in the high school specifically I do a lot of support and mentoring of LGBTQ kids.

They don't care who knows, they don't care how they know... and yet I think that's hard for them because being out, that brings on a whole other can of worms.

Because then you have to deal with your families.

You have to deal with, the religious part of it.

You have to deal with teachers and you know how teachers react to you, how other kids react to you.

- There's something that happens when you become visible and you become less under the radar, because we were under the radar then, right, people didn't necessarily know what they were seeing when they saw us... people in high school did, a lot of kids did, but there were a lot of people just didn't know what they were seeing so it wasn't registering.

And then once it becomes part of the mainstream consciousness, which is good and important and necessary, there's gonna be pushback because it becomes part of the mainstream consciousness and people are like what, this is happening and under my flag?

And so then they, there's a lot of pushback with laws and... Not to say we shouldn't be getting more public and more mainstream and more out in the open and be able to live our lives more freely and get the services we need, that's necessary.

But I know that what comes with that is like intense, violent pushback.

(acoustic guitar) ♪ ♪ - I would like the youth of our community today to know that we stood strong always.

And we're still standing strong and we're still behind them.

Because I think we have some big fights ahead of us.

♪ - I think things may get a little hairy.

You kinda need to watch your back more nowadays.

People are coming out of the woodwork, coming out of the woodwork because they feel emboldened.

Last night I was working, someone spat on our security guy at Sidewinders.

And it wasn't a gay customer and a lot of this stuff, honest to God, after Trump you know, was elected President, they're just things popping up that you hadn't seen in a long time.

(somber music) ♪ ♪ Swastikas, you know, on the bar.

Things like that, so it's a little scary.

- [Monica] With our current president, it's shifted not only for the gay community, but for the African American community, for the Muslim community.

♪ - [Michelle] With everything that's going on today, it's scary, you know?

And if we take two steps backwards, you know, back into the closet.

Why, we don't have to be.

We are who we are.

And we're on this earth just like anybody else, so... ♪ (acoustic guitar) ♪ - [StormMiguel] We are who we are.

We are phenomenal now and we were phenomenal then without even knowing it.

The odds would have had us hiding and isolated, waiting years to live our true adolescence.

Instead, a group of teens brought us a signal to help us gravitate toward each other and make us stronger together.

- I don't think that we really got like how unique it was and how special that was, and how much that influenced everything about who we are next.

You know who we became as adults.

Every time I talk to somebody, my girlfriend's 10 years younger than me and I tell her about all this stuff and she's like, that never...

I never would have done that when I was 15, I never had people around me like that when I was 15, 16.

And I just, oh my gosh.

And that was the 90s!

I am Charlene Johnson, I am an urban planner.

I work with lots of different people all over the city and I am out and proud in all of those capacities now.

♪ - I was totally charmed by the idea of the whistle as soon as I heard about it because it felt like this opportunity that young women took to identify each other and support each other, which I think we all, you know, do that in some way.

We want to find, I mean, I think that's why the lesbians in my generation, we had a dress code.

You know, short hair, plaid shirt, Birkenstocks, no makeup.

So we had that as a way to kind of let each other know who we were.

My name is Havens Levitt.

I taught at Del Norte High School from 1982 to 1999.

And I'm happily retired and still very much happily active in the LGBTQ community in Albuquerque.

- We were young and it was fun and it was refreshing, accepting.

What you would think high school should be like.

I'm Stephanie Sanchez.

I'm a professional therapist, behavioral health, I have my own practice and I worked closely with APS.

So I'm able to provide behavioral health services in our schools.

I've been with my wife 14 years and married for the past six, and two amazing young men that we've raised.

- My name is Molly Chavez.

I work with one of the local hospitals.

I oversee our financial assistance eligibility program.

I'm currently married.

We've been married for four and a half years now, together almost 12 years.

We have a beautiful four year old daughter.

- My name is Barbara, I'm a social worker.

I am a parent, and I'm a sister, and I'm an aunt and I'm a godmother and I'm a friend and I enjoy people, I enjoy helping people.

- [Susan] My name is Susan Swann.

I've been with my wife now for 24 years.

I own my own business and I love being my own boss.

- [Tina] My name is Tina Quack, I live in San Francisco, California with my wife Terry Padilla and our fur baby family.

I'm a physician assistant in the Bay Area.

- My name's Rebecca Champion, I'm a dental hygienist and I have two lovely, wonderful girls, that my partner and I have adopted.

We've been married for 20 years, and loving life.

- I'm Monica Bergeron-Heintz.

I've married to my wife now, we got married the day it became legal here in Albuquerque, and her proposal was that morning when we found out on the news, "Hey, do you want to go get married?"

Very romantic, let's go get married.

She was in her work uniform and everything.

She's all, "Let's go get married!"

And I said, okay.

She called into work and she goes, "Um, I'm gonna be a little late.

I'm getting married."

- My name is Michelle Martinez.

I am working in the food and beverage industry.

I enjoy cooking, it's my passion, it's everything that drives me.

I think about it every day.

You know, how can I reach communities?

How can I bring the beauty to others?

- My name's Madie, Madie Mirabal.

I am a lifelong resident of Albuquerque, I'm a lifelong DJ.

I've been very blessed throughout my life to be able to make people happy through music.

- My name is Gloria Vigil.

I'm a social worker at Amy Biehl high school.

I still use the whistle all the time and I just feel like it's just an important part of me.

- My name is Bernadette Adkins.

Everybody calls me Bern.

I went to Rio Grande High School and Albuquerque High School.

And I brought the whistle.

("Cross My Heart" by Kimo) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Late at night sometimes while dreamin' ♪ ♪ I can feel you next to me ♪ ♪ My conscience out the window ♪ ♪ I realize what I am starting to see ♪ ♪ You and I by the window ♪ ♪ Watchin' the clouds and birds go by ♪ ♪ We're playin' songs on the jukeboxes ♪ ♪ In the bars where the pool tables lean ♪ ♪ But you were smiling at me ♪ ♪ We shared the same pack of smokes ♪ ♪ And we drank the same kind of beer ♪ ♪ The bottles were never empty ♪ ♪ And our minds were never clear ♪ ♪ We talked about the future but we could never get past ♪ ♪ The thought that what we had was the best ♪ ♪ And that you and I were gonna last ♪ ♪ And all I ever wanted was you in my life ♪ ♪ And all I ever wanted ♪ ♪ Was someone to keep my monsters away at night ♪ ♪ No prey tonight ♪ ♪ Cross my heart hope to die with my arms around you ♪ ♪ Cross my heart hope to die with my arms around you ♪ ♪ Good night, sleep tight, don't let my words bite you ♪ ♪ Good night, sleep tight, don't let my words bite you ♪ ♪ ♪ When I woke the bed was empty ♪ ♪ But I could tell that you'd been there ♪ ♪ The bottles all were empty and I found one of your hairs ♪ ♪ The little things remind me ♪ ♪ More than all the songs I write ♪ ♪ They've got a way of piercing just that spot ♪ ♪ That I keep out of sight ♪ ♪ All I ever wanted was you in my life ♪ ♪ All I ever wanted was someone ♪ ♪ To keep my monsters away at night ♪ ♪ No prey tonight ♪ ♪ Well alright ♪ ♪ Cross my heart hope to die with my arms around you ♪ ♪ Cross my heart hope to die with my arms around you ♪ ♪ Cross my heart hope to die with my arms around you ♪ ♪ Cross my heart hope to die with my arms around you ♪ ♪ Cross my heart hope to die with my arms around you ♪ ♪ Cross my heart hope to die with my arms around you ♪ ♪ Yeah, cross my heart hope to die with my arms around you ♪ ♪ All I ever wanted ♪ ♪ All I ever wanted ♪ ♪ All I ever wanted ♪ ♪ Wanted ♪ ♪ Wanted ♪ ♪ Was you ♪ ♪ Was you ♪ ♪ Was you ♪ ♪ Was you ♪